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Rufus' Elaborate Homecoming Ritual

October 7, 2022

The Pest: I found a page from Rufus's Diary. This time he's summoning the dead for Homecoming.

By The Pest Staff Writer | For The Post

After the last two entries, this has to be intentional at this point. Why are you leaving these for me to find, Rufus? Can you include that in the next entry? This one was covered in green and white paint. You are one freaky cat!

Anyway, here is the entry:

Dear Diary,

It is one of the most fantastical weeks of the entire year: HOMECOMING! I have spent the entire month of September preparing. There is green and white all over the cat cave now, but I had to complete the ritual somehow!

The alums must return.

You see, Diary, I have to summon the dead: I performed the alum summoning sequence once more! They will come in droves this year… I expect them in the thousands. They would never come back if it were not for the ritual. The ritual doesn't bring back the actual dead, silly, just the "dead to OU." The graduates of all types: accountants, engineers, teachers and nurses galore!

This year, I made sure to put extra beers in the pentagram so we would get the fraternity members out in full. I also included a Bobkitten onesie. Have to get those new parents out of the house somehow… I ran out of points on the pentagram by the time I got to the Bagel Street Deli sandwich collection (my favorite is The Bobcat), so I just started throwing stuff in the middle. There was a pretty big pile by the time I was done. A football helmet, a skateboard, some boomboxes, a flip phone, a 110 uniform, a can of hairspray and a pom pom. I collected most of this from the dorms over the years. Using my sneaky cat skills, it is very easy to pop in and out. I also put in a high heel, a vape, a pack of cigarettes, some Goodfella's and a crushed White Claw I found on Court Street last night, just for good measure.

You wouldn't believe how beautiful it was. It shot a Green and White light out of the Cat Cave and into the very souls of OU alums! The summoning happens by injecting memories of the objects into each and every alum. However, the pull is only effective on some by the time it gets there. But every alum wants to come, somewhere deep inside.

You see, even if they can't come every year, each alum sends a little bit of Bobcat spirit back to Athens for Homecoming. You can't see the light (I can, of course, but that is just because I am very special and you are not). But it's there, the spirit of thousands of alums, all their warm memories and happy moments from over the years. And every year, it helps current students create memories of their own.

Talk to you again soon, Diary. I'll let you know how well this year's ritual worked.

AUTHOR: The Pest Staff Writer
EDITOR: Megan Diehl
COPY EDITOR: Aya Cathey
WEB DEVELOPMENT: Molly Wilson