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Ah, opening weekend. Crowds of students shuffling from street to street and bar to bar, freshmen awkwardly approaching house parties and, unfortunately, countless party posts overwhelming my Twitter timeline.
If you think anyone really cares about how much you party, here’s something for you to think about: They don’t.
No one who sees your post cares if you go out, except maybe your mom, but only because moms are obligated to care. No one cares how much (or what) you drink, if anything. Chances are even your close friends are only watching to see a post of you getting safely home — and after that, they’ll stop caring too.
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t party. That’s not even to say that you can’t post a photo or two. It’s just important to know that, regardless of how many photos, videos, or tweets you post, people will care about them even less than they would care about a self-indulgent rant published weekly in The Post.
And trust me, no one cares about that.
One could make the argument that this applies to almost all things that you post, but that makes me sad, so I digress.
Ninety percent of the people who go to parties have fun, go home and don’t post the whole thing on social media. Seeing a ten-minute long Snapchat story of a party, for most people, is like seeing a 10-minute long Snapchat story of someone sitting in class. We all do it, and it’s pretty much always the same, unless a guy tries to escape police by running across rooftops or something.
If I sound severe, that’s because I can relate. Believe me, I know how tempting it is to post an affirmation that you are, in fact, at a party. In that moment, you feel like the absolute coolest person in the entire world, despite looking like a desperate wannabe socialite.
For the love of all things holy, don’t post stuff just to impress people or to show them how much you party. What a stupid reason to ever do anything.
If you’re going to post something, don’t do it to impress people. Don’t post photos to make new friends or impress current ones. Trust me — they won’t care.
Don’t feel obligated post an awkward front-facing Snapchat video of you dancing at a party, a photo of you holding whatever you’re drinking or even regular or any mundane party photos that everyone has seen before.
You don’t have to document every second of every party you go to — you’ll have more fun and make more friends if you just look up from your phone and talk to people. Or not. I am not the boss of you.
— Bennett Leckrone is a sophomore studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to send Bennett awkward front-facing Snapchat videos? Tweet him @LeckroneBennett.